I’m afraid.
there I said it.
yeah I’m insecure.
sure, there’s no reason to be, that is self evident…
But my inner child doesn’t know that.
rationality is not the hallmark of the child that fears failure
that craves comfort and affection.
the shy child hopes that the world will provide
and then perceives providence within disaster
death by a thousand cuts, each insignificant
as insignificant as I am
chaos is a matter of distance
beside the smoking raft you can feel the death
see the ash in the air, hear the lamentation
from space the ganges is a dull line
fixed. immobile
as immobile as I appear
so I lay in this hotel bed
thinking of her, at her art show, with her boyfriend
who is not her boyfriend but only her lover
I feel insignificant
I appear immobile
But I am a shy child in mourning
trying to heal from the thousand cuts
hoping for a thousand kisses
spending the night
alone
